By Julie Fanelli, LCSW
If you’ve been asking yourself, “Why is my teen so tired all the time?” you’re not alone.
Maybe they come home from school completely wiped out. They sleep until noon on the weekends. They take a nap after practice. They tell you they’re exhausted before dinner.
Meanwhile, you’re thinking, How is that even possible?
After all, they’re young. They should have energy, right?
Sometimes the answer is simple. Teens genuinely need more sleep than adults, and early school start times don’t exactly help.
But sometimes your teen is so tired because they’re emotionally exhausted—not just physically tired.
And that’s a piece many parents unintentionally miss.
Your Teen May Be Carrying More Than You Realize
When adults think about stress, we usually think about work, bills, relationships, or raising a family.
Teenagers have their own version.
They’re constantly trying to figure out where they fit in.
Who likes them.
Who doesn’t.
Whether they said the wrong thing.
Whether someone is upset with them.
Whether they got invited.
Whether everyone else knows something they don’t.
It sounds small from the outside.
It rarely feels small to them.
For many teens, every school day feels like walking into a room where they believe they’re being evaluated.
Not just by teachers.
By classmates.
By friends.
By social media.
By people they’ve never even spoken to.
That takes energy.
The Emotional Pressure Never Really Turns Off
One thing I hear from teens all the time is that they never feel like they can completely relax.
School ends…
Then practice.
Then homework.
Then trying to answer everyone’s texts.
Then checking social media.
Then worrying about whether they should have posted something.
Or whether everyone else hung out without them.
Or whether they’re falling behind.
For many teens, their brain keeps running long after their body has stopped moving.
That’s exhausting.
The Pressure to Keep Up Is Real
Whether your teen admits it or not, they’re constantly comparing themselves.
Who’s getting better grades.
Who’s making varsity.
Who’s visiting colleges.
Who’s getting recruited.
Who’s dating.
Who’s getting invited to parties.
Who’s always surrounded by friends.
In high-achieving communities, that pressure can feel even heavier. Conversations about AP classes, college admissions, sports, internships, and “what’s next” can start surprisingly early. Even confident teenagers can begin feeling like they’re falling behind if they aren’t measuring up to whatever everyone else seems to be doing.
Parents often look at these things and think:
“They’re only sixteen.”
Your teenager isn’t thinking about adulthood.
They’re thinking about tomorrow.
Tomorrow’s test.
Tomorrow’s lunch table.
Tomorrow’s practice.
Tomorrow’s group chat.
They’re living in a world where belonging feels incredibly important.
Anxiety Doesn’t Always Look Like Panic
Many parents expect anxiety to be obvious.
They picture panic attacks or someone who can’t leave the house.
Sometimes anxiety looks much quieter.
It looks like a teen who’s constantly drained.
Their brain spends all day worrying.
“Did I sound weird?”
“Why haven’t they answered?”
“What if I disappoint everyone?”
“What if I fail?”
Imagine trying to concentrate while your brain keeps opening new tabs every few minutes.
Eventually, you’re exhausted.
Not because you ran a marathon.
Because your mind did.
Sometimes It’s Not Anxiety. Sometimes It’s Burnout.
I think parents are often surprised to hear that teenagers can burn out.
But think about the pace many of them keep.
School.
Sports.
Clubs.
Volunteering.
Tutoring.
Homework.
Trying to have a social life.
Trying to keep up online.
Trying not to disappoint anyone.
Trying to figure out who they are.
At some point, even highly motivated teens hit a wall.
When that happens, they don’t always say, “I’m overwhelmed.”
More often they say:
“I’m just tired.”
Don’t Forget About Physical Health
Before assuming your teen’s exhaustion is emotional, it’s important to rule out medical causes.
Things like iron deficiency, thyroid problems, sleep disorders, vitamin deficiencies, certain medications, or other health conditions can all contribute to fatigue.
If your teen’s energy has changed significantly or they’re tired all the time despite getting enough sleep, it’s worth checking in with their pediatrician.
Mental health and physical health go hand in hand.
What Parents Can Do
When your teen walks through the door looking exhausted, it’s tempting to say:
“You’re always tired.”
“You slept all weekend.”
“You don’t know what tired is yet.”
I understand the instinct.
Unfortunately, comments like these usually end the conversation before it starts.
Instead, try getting curious.
“You’ve seemed really exhausted lately.”
“I’ve noticed you’ve had less energy than usual.”
“What’s been feeling the heaviest lately?”
Notice those questions aren’t trying to solve the problem.
They’re trying to understand it.
Sometimes your teen doesn’t need a lecture.
They need someone who’s willing to slow down long enough to understand what life feels like from their side.
When Teen Therapy Can Help
If your teen seems exhausted all the time, has become more withdrawn, is struggling with anxiety, or just doesn’t seem like themselves anymore, teen therapy can provide a space to sort through what’s underneath the fatigue.
One of the biggest misconceptions about teen therapy is that it’s only for teenagers in crisis.
It isn’t.
Sometimes therapy is simply a place where teens don’t have to perform, compete, or pretend everything is fine.
Sometimes it’s the first place they can say, “I’m overwhelmed,” without feeling like they’re disappointing anyone.
And sometimes that’s exactly where the exhaustion finally starts to lift.
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If you’re looking for teen therapy in Hermosa Beach or throughout the South Bay, I work with teenagers navigating anxiety, burnout, social pressure, perfectionism, and the emotional weight of trying to keep up. Therapy gives them a space to understand what’s really driving their exhaustion and build healthier ways to cope—so they can stop surviving and start enjoying being a teenager again.
